It’s been a little while since I’ve posted, so hello again! I wasn’t really feeling like my usual running self after CIM. Which is not in the least bit surprising. I did two marathons, 4 weeks apart, and went out hard in the second. And spoiler alert, I failed. So, I’ve just been doing what I want the last few weeks. Running easy, not blogging, not really thinking a whole lot about running, or nutrition, or foam rolling, or PT. I want to wait until I really want to work hard again until I do that.
So, CIM. I felt pretty great before. I nailed my key workouts in the weeks leading up. I foam rolled. I carb loaded. I hydrated.
By mile 8, I could tell it wasn’t going to come easy. There have been days I have run PRs were I fought for them, so I was ok with that. I told myself all the things you think when you are having a tough day: this will pass, one mile at a time, you have time to start feeling good again, keep eating and drinking, counting strides, anything.
I knew I needed to go through the halfway mark in 1:37ish to run under 3:16. When I went through the half, it was 1:38:59. For a second, I almost quit. But then I told myself that it was not going to be over until I decided it was over. Not the clock. I dug in and ran a way too fast mile. But maybe I was feeling a little better?
I kept working for the next few miles. Desperately hoping to unspool energy carefully enough to break through to the other side of the fatigue I was feeling.
There was quite a bit of humidity in the air that day, even though it was cool, it was not cold. I think a little colder and drier weather might have helped me. But I’m not sure it would have been enough to change the time on the clock. By mile 20, my hips and glutes were complaining, which is pretty rare for me, even in the last miles of a marathon. I will get soreness and fatigue, but not this kind of stiffness.
I am pretty proud of the fact that I never gave up. I really had no good reason to finish the thing. I knew I wasn’t going to hit the time I wanted, I was only running this race to try and beat my PR. But I knew that even though I didn’t need to finish, I *needed* to finish. And while it was not a PR, I ran the second fastest marathon of my running career on one of the hardest days I’ve had.
Right as I crossed the finish line, every part of me wanted to crumple into tears. And I did take a second to mourn what could have been. I snapped out of it pretty quickly. John was there and I wanted to enjoy the afternoon with him and his sister (now my sister in law to be!!). The only thing worse than coming to watch your fiancée run a marathon, is watching her run the marathon and then having to watch her cry. So I smiled for what I did accomplish, and went with John to watch his sister finish. We cheered like crazy people her (she ran a PR and an AMAZING race!), and then went for beers.
I saw several people I knew on the race course, and most were surprised to see me out there, I didn’t really advertise I was doing this, but it meant the world to see a smiling face.
I so appreciated that I was able to run CIM. And I so appreciated that I could enjoy the fun and celebration of family and the holidays the last month. It was the perfect distraction while I waited to feel ready to think about CIM and running fast again.