Hey guys! I hope everyone is having a great week so far!
Some of you have reached out to me via Instagram with positive encouragement to be patient with my foot healing and it is so appreciated!
Life has been kind of a whirlwind for me lately. At the end of January, I found out “my position was eliminated” at work. Also known as LAID OFF. It wasn’t due to performance, simply a reorganization of my department and my position was no longer needed. Bye girl! That hit me like a ton of bricks. Everyone says to be prepared for something like that to happen. I’ve had friends who are so smart and hardworking be laid off, and it makes you wonder, “how would I survive?”
I texted my people (aka mom, dad, boyfriend) – and mostly they thought I was joking. Because why would you text something like that?! I also have a very dry sense of humor and sarcasm, maybe you’ve picked up on that 😉 So they assumed this was a bad joke. Nope! Real life. So I set about right away looking for a new job that would be even better. I was determined to stay positive and go find a great fit. I got a severance package and had some savings, so I was just going to take the time to make a good thing come of a bad situation. I really didn’t want to dwell on the “why mes” or “its not fairs.” Stay positive.
Right around this same time, I’d had some weight gain. It was really my body getting itself to a healthy weight. Previously – I was a little on the light side for my height (I’m a lanky 5’6″). I’d decided to get my nutrition on track and commit to being healthy, even if that did mean gaining a few pounds. After having a body fat composition test done yesterday on a whim, I can see that the weight gain has been muscle – which was the goal, and is great to see. Still – I’m human (and a girl, which adds a whole other level of complexity to basically any situation), and having my jeans feel tight is mentally tough. It is a whole new type of body to get used to. But I was gonna stay positive! If Beyonce thinks she looks better with more curves, so could I LOL. This was a good thing and will allow me to run healthy and race for long into my life. Stay positive.
So the job search plodded on and I bought new jeans. I was enjoying getting to do more of my running outside since I didn’t have to wake up predawn to be at work on time. I was interviewing and meeting with a lot of different people about potential jobs. I was really nailing my speed work and tempos too, which felt great when I wasn’t feeling too hot about myself in other areas of life. Then the foot thing happened. My foot started hurting after speed work one day. I went straight to the podiatrist. He said “oh no, just the sesamoid bone got irritated. Let me adjust your orthotic and you are good to go.” So he did, and told me I should be fine to keep running. The foot didn’t hurt that much, so I trusted the pain would go away. It didn’t. He said to give it a week off running and try again. When I tried again – OMG IT HURT SO BAD. I had to pull out of the half marathon I had planned for that weekend, and decided not to sign up for Rock n Roll San Francisco either.
Upon getting a second opinion from another sports driven podiatrist – both docs agreed is was probably a stress “reaction.” No fracture was visible on an x-ray, but the pain is indicative of a stress fracture, so it was early stages and maybe no full break had happened yet. Whomp. 4-6 weeks off. Maybe longer. Have to wait it out.
I would really like to say that I “stayed positive!” But I definitely cried. A lot. For some reason the “foot thing” as I have taken to calling it, opened the flood gates for everything else making me sad or frustrated at that point. You ever hear the phrase “mercury in retrograde?” That’s what it felt like. I gave myself a day to be a sad sack about it. Then I got passes for a gym with a pool and started swimming and biking like a demon.
I start my new job next week and I’m feeling much more….centered? Sane? Happy? Probably all of the above. My foot is feeling better, though not ready to run. I’m so grateful and excited for the new opportunity with this job. My dad and I planned our trip to Peru. As I was waiting to hear back about the new job after the string of interviews – it was really hard to stay positive and mentally tough. The only thing I can liken it to is the last 10k of a marathon. When you think you are actually going to die, but if you can just hang in there for the last 6.2 miles, you’ve done it. You made it through.
Obviously what I am going through is a CAKEWALK in the scheme of things. I’m not trying to say that my life is hard, or that I want anyone to feel sorry for me. Lauren Fleshman has done a lot of talking about her injuries and different struggles in business, athletics, life, ect on her blog and in different interviews. She says it is important to stay positive when things aren’t going exactly as planned – but she also makes a great point that it is ok to be bummed as well. You can give yourself permission to feel sad. I also loved this post on RunTriMom about the glass being half empty.
The biggest thing my string of mini-struggles has taught me is my people are here for me. And its good to lean on them. When I lost a friend from college, so many people called and texted and hugged. With the job stuff, all my friends and family never doubts for a second that I would end up with a new job soon, and one that I liked better than the previous job. I am so grateful that I don’t have to go through anything alone.
I may end up taking this post down haha! It is a lot of rambling. Just kind of a life update I guess. I know everyone has different struggles they go through and I think it is helpful to know you are not alone, and it is helpful to hear how others deal.
I am registered for the Chicago marathon, so I’m super anxious for my foot to heal up so that I can build a base before I start official training for that in May/June. I’m actually going to Chicago next week for my new job, so I’m hoping that is a good omen for the marathon!