Lately I have gotten a few messages and notes from people saying that my blog has helped them, they enjoy reading it, ect. You guys, I cannot say enough how happy this makes me.
Thank you, thank you….
I started this blog a while ago, and then promptly DIDN’T write anything. Or rather, I would write posts and delete them, too afraid to post. This leads to the question…
Why did I start a blog if I was too afraid/lazy/whatever to actually write on it?
I would honestly say I started it for myself. I wanted to chronicle my journey and dream of running a full marathon, and my hopes of qualifying for Boston. Other people’s blogs were fun to read and I enjoyed them. But then it was like I was too afraid to put it all out there. I did hook my blog to my Instagram account – or vice versa – whatever the technologically appropriate way to say that is. I felt a lot more comfortable posting pictures of my runs than I did writing anything.
I choose not to start a separate Instagram account for fitness or running. I know some people do that, but it seemed like too much work. Plus, I’m not a person that separates things like that. This is me, whether I’m running, traveling, or playing wine pong at 7pm on a Saturday night. It all goes together. I wouldn’t say anything so dramatic as running is my life, but it isn’t like there is running Jennifer and non running Jennifer. They are the same person, even when I am hurt, or not running, or more interested in something else (I will let you know when the last one happens).
That said – this presented another element of anxiety for me. My Instagram account, before my toenails turned weird colors & I started posting photos of my runs, is mainly an audience of people who know me, in daily life, that I actually see. I use the term “audience” very loosely. Some of them are my real life friends. Some of them are my real life frenemies. So then, by putting all my running stuff on my blog, and on my Instagram, my real life peeps see it too. And a lot of them aren’t runners and don’t “get it.” When I say “get it” I mean that they are more likely to jeer at me for running 20 miles on a Saturday than congratulate me for it. If I dated a boy, surely he would see all such shenanigans (this did eventually happen & the boy has stuck around HAHA).
And yet – I still kinda wanted to do it.
I would say the turning point for me in feeling more comfortable was Nuttzo suggesting I apply for their athlete ambassador program. What’s this? Validation? Felt good. And I love me nut better. Yanno?
This was one of the first pictures of my food that I posted. I definitely had my boyfriend teasing me, and a few others made comments, but I was able to brush it off. Especially since other people seemed to like it, and there was Nuttzo who liked it, and that was encouraging. So I kept on doing it, and I have gotten more and more comfortable. Every time someone tells me they enjoy my blog, I kid you not, it is such a shiny, wonderful moment. I guess because it is a little like letting the internet ready your diary, which is scary.
Very fun weekend in AZ with my blogging and running friend, Kindal.
I’m not a professional athlete, I’ll never make a living running, so I am not here to say that you should read my blog because I have the answers. I do hope that those of you who read it (those aside from my mom & dad, that is) get something out of what I write – even if that is just a recipe, or knowing you are not alone in stressing out over the perfect race day outfit. I am so glad I kept on Instagramming (spell check HATES that word) and blogging. I have made some great friends – both in the internet world and in real life. I have an amazing coach who is really helping me improve as a runner. I have an literal s**t ton more resources than I ever thought possible. I have several companies who I am so lucky to be partnered with. So even though there are still some people who ask questions with that skeptical look on their faces, and probably some friends/acquaintances who might judge – I am still really glad I pushed onward and kept trying.
Mom & Dad, thanks for reading every post like it is the world’s most important news line!
Do you share a lot of social media? How do you get past your fear of judgment?